i love football. i type in all lower case. i curse especially during football season (if you get offended by bad words you probably should not read any of my blog posts because more than likely there will be at least one f-bomb and other profanity, not gratuitous profanity but because sometimes expletives are necessary). i like to say the words: holla, y’all (only when writing) no i’m not from the south, and BOSS, i have a turtle who i thought was male for 3 years but she’s a girl hence the name roofus jongotti chaka kahn and i have an unusal obsession with salt. just wanted to get the basics out of the way (that almost felt like an online dating profile- god help me). i am not an expert on football though i do think i have a few pseudo-credentials that may give me slight street cred and thus make me uniquely qualified to discuss football:
1. i chose my university based on the football program. well not entirely true but mostly… when i saw the university of colorado football stadium they had me at ralphie. (and yes i know my profile pic is with “the rocket” but i had to take advantage of that photo opp.) i had never visited colorado, had never heard of boulder, probably didn’t even know where it was on a map but i chose the school after i saw the stadium and well they were national champions for football (with an asterisk, i know, i don’t care). i’m guessing growing up a duck fan in eugene during the rich brooks years, pretty much always losing maybe had something to do with this.
2. i played powder puff in high school, almost lost an appendage as a result of a tackle gone bad (oops it was flag football). it is my first and only broken bone.
3. my dad owned a few car dealerships in eugene growing up and we had some football parties with coaches and players, one of which i saw rich brooks getting fresh w/ my mom. but let’s not start any internet rumors–let me clarify, “fresh” as in kiss on the cheek, i was 6 years old so really wtf did i know.
4. one of my best friend’s gramps is red hickey – just a guy who invented a little thing called the shotgun formation. she doesn’t like football, but i love her anyway.
5. some chicks have a handbag i have a football purse.
most everything i know about football has been self-taught therefore this blog won’t have any expert analysis well occasionally it might if i’m feeling really superior in my fantasy football league or i’ve had a few glasses of wine.
football is my happy place. there’s nothing better than an offside kick returned for a TD, SAFETY, a linebacker getting a sack or watching RALPHIE run around fosom field before a game, ya feel me?!
thanks for visiting!